Zion 2002

April 24-28

Zion weather is extremely temporal, and the climbable conditions there are rare. Winter is too cold to climb, while summer is too hot. In the spring, it rains often. Zion routes require persistence…

-          John Middendorf

 

Each spring I take a climbing trip to the desert. In the past this has been an extended weekend to Red Rocks Canyon near Las Vegas, but more recently I’ve headed to the intimidating confines of Zion National Park. My previous trips to Zion, though marked with some success had always been marred by rainy days. This year I feared the heat as the weather reports called for temperatures in the mid-80’s. Apparently the forecasters didn’t know about my plans.

This trip followed closely on heels of a tremendously successful surprise 40th birthday party that my wife through for me. Because of this party, the trip had been shortened, via a variety of convenient excuses by my partners – co-conspirators in the surprise party – to a five day trip. Only four other partners signed up to join me: Trashman, Steve “Bowling Ball” Mathias, and the Taylor boys of Opie and Toolman.

The Taylor Boys would be driving up from Phoenix on Wednesday. We’d meet them in Zion Canyon that evening, but Trashy, Steve, and I had an earlier objective. Trashy and I drove my RV out from Boulder on Tuesday after work. Steve left Albuquerque on Tuesday morning and we made plans to rendezvous early Wednesday morning. 

Sunlight Buttress                             

A new book my Mark Kroese came out this past fall called Fifty Favorite Climbs. The book was inspired by the classic Fifty Classic Climbs, but in this book fifty famous climbers pick their favorite climbs. I believe this to be disingenuous. These aren’t their favorite climbs. These are climbs that they want to become more popular – many times previously unknown climbs with a single ascent, usually by the climber in question.

Photo 1: Paria Point and the Sunlight Buttress (photo by George Bell)

Being an avid pursuer of tick lists, I was now interested in the Fifty Favorite climbs. Many of these climbs will be forever beyond my reach, but, unlike when I first discovered Fifty Classic Climbs, I had already done nine of these routes. Charlie Fowler chose Sunlight Buttress in the Kolob Canyons area of Zion as his favorite climb. I don’t know Charlie, but I strongly doubt this is true. Nevertheless, this was our first objective.

Photo 2: Steve Mathias making the transition on the first pitch

Trashy and I drove until 3 a.m. on Tuesday morning, then pulled over and slept for three hours. We met Steve at 7 a.m. at the Paria Point parking lot in the Kolob Canyons section of Zion. The day before Steve had scoped out the approach and stashed some water. He even built a few cairns to mark the route.

Photo 3: Steve Mathias linking the first and second pitches (photo by George Bell)

As we organized our gear a pickup pulled into the parking lot. We were the only cars there at the time and suspected what these guys were heading for. Sure enough, they wanted Sunlight Buttress as well. Apparently the new book was having the desired effect of increasing the traffic on these routes. We speculated that this was probably the first time that more than one party got on this route on the same day.

Photo 4: The trailing party on the second pitch (photo by George Bell)

They asked us if they could just run up there and go first. What? We weren’t about to concede them the lead without a good honest race to the base of the route. Heck, that’s the fun of deciding the order of ascension. I fondly remember an encounter I had at the trailhead leading to Crimson Chrysalis in Red Rocks. A party was just starting out and I was still in my car when I asked them what route they were planning to do. Crimson Chrysalis was their choice – the same as ours. I asked them, “Are you guys fast?” They said, “We should move pretty quickly as it is only 5.8.” Knowing it was a solid 45-minute approach, I responded, “No, I meant are you a fast hiker?” He conceded the route to us right then and there. Was it un-sportsmanlike to make such a comment? Heck, I thought it was sporting of me to let them know the race was on and that they had the lead. If they were faster, more power to them. If not, then we should be in front anyway.

The other two climbers pulled previously packed sacks out of the back of the truck and the race was on. I prodded Steve to start leading the way and walked out of the lot just in front of them. A moment later they called after us and said, “We’re going to go kill a couple of hours and then head up there. No reason for us to race to the base and crowd each other and you were here first.” This was nice of them, but I didn’t believe we had any claim to being first when we were still in the parking lot. I once had a snotty French-Canadian claim to be next in line for the Primrose Dihedrals route on Moses Spire in Canyonlands while still in the parking lot and 45 minutes away from the climb. We gave him a lesson climbing etiquette and workout in beating him to the base. I wasn’t about to claim my position from the parking lot and I was looking forward to the workout racing these guys to the base.

Steve led us to the base via some steep 4th class slabs and we geared up. This route is nine pitches long, with six 5.10 pitches, two 5.9 pitches, and one 5.11b pitch. Trashy abdicated the leading to Steve and I and we negotiated the pitches. Steve drew the first lead, a 5.10- crack, and started up around 8:30 a.m. He moved solidly up the pitch, but it didn’t look easy. The climbing was very continuous. After forty meters he arrived at the first belay and decided to link the short second pitch into a monster 200-foot lead. This took him a solid 45 minutes to lead.

Photo 5: Steve Mathias following the continuous third pitch

Trashy went next. With such difficult climbing, we wouldn’t be simul-seconding any of the pitches and this would be a slow climb. We’d let the other team pass as soon as they caught us. Trashy fell off once when a loose block broke off. I was showered with some fragments below. Before I left the ground, I saw the other climbers arrive and start the approach. True to their word, they were exactly two hours behind us.

Photo 6: The author struggling (and failing) to free the start of the third pitch (photo by George Bell)

I followed the pitch and felt very solid on it. I needed this to be so in order to give me the confidence for the harder pitches to come. I felt the hardest move was on the second pitch, where a very dicey high-step move felt very insecure. The climbing was continuously interesting and lots of fun. Thankfully this section wasn’t all that steep, but that was going to change with the start of the third pitch.

Photo 7: Steve Mathias at the crux of the fourth pitch

As soon as Trashy arrived at Steve’s belay he notified him that he’d be going down. He didn’t feel he was in shape for so much hard climbing and these first two pitches had been difficult for him. He stayed at the belay while I led the next pitch to keep Steve company and take some photos.

The third pitch started with a dead vertical nearly flawless corner. It looked brutally hard. I climbed up about ten feet to a bolt and clipped it. Above, in the corner, was a seam that opened up just once – a long reach above. Above this hold the crack pinched to nothing again and it appeared to be an impossible reach. I climbed up to the one slot and managed to get in a red Alien. Here I noticed that the stoppers were not on the rack. I hung on the bolt and hauled up the stoppers.

On my next try, I fell trying to reach past the blank section, but I wasn’t even close. There are no footholds here and I didn’t see how to solve it. This pitch is supposedly 5.10+, but I seriously doubt that. Especially onsighting it. I next tried the arête on the left. There were some holds out there and I was able to climb well above the red Alien, but I couldn’t get any gear in the corner above, as it wasn’t really a crack, and I fell trying to get back in the crack. I tried this once more with the same results. Hanging there, I thought the climb might be over for us.

I had noticed a big edge off to the right on the face, but it had always been tantalizingly out of reach. Hanging on the piece, I was able to place an RP and then hanging from that piece I could reach the edge. I climbed up this to another good edge and then back into the corner where I could place gear. Call it one aid move.

The crack above was long and continuous with a couple more 5.10 sections. This route is a fight to gain elevation at all times. I ran out about 140 feet of rope to a small belay ledge. I had to wait here as Trashy got lowered off. He would take photos, hike around, and take Steve’s truck (without previously discussing it with Steve). We’d later joke that it has been stolen when we noticed it missing. When the truck returned later we assumed the thief wasn’t impressed with the vehicle.

Steve followed this pitch wearing the pack and dragging the entire 200’ length of our second rope – and this rope was a fat 10.5mm. It proved a bit too much weight and he took a couple of rests before he reached the belay. He also did an aid move in the corner below, as did the team that was following us.

At the belay Steve said he was bit a tired. He hadn’t been doing much climbing since moving down to Albuquerque a month ago. He was game to continue, but I’d have to do the leading. That was fine with me as I had a good rest and was raring to go. I clipped the second rope to my harness to ease the burden on Steve and led off on the 5.10+ face pitch.

Six bolts in about 120 feet of climbing protect this next pitch. Thankfully, I was able to place some other gear. The climbing is exposed, but not vertical and characterized by sandy, slabby face moves off marginal holds. The crux involved covering what appears to be an impossible blank section. I climbed until my feet were above the last bolt and then put in two RP’s and a black Alien all within three inches of each other. I hoped what they lacked in quality could be made up for in quantity. Moving from here to the next bolt was the 5.10+ crux and quite scary. At the bolt, I almost grabbed the draw as I was so precarious and pictured myself falling and ripping the gear down to the next bolt. I didn’t though and finished the pitch cleanly. Steve followed and used a judicious pull on same gear to get by this section.

Photo 8: The author leading the last (9th) pitch (photo by Steve Mathias)

The next pitch starts with a short, wide crack and we brought the #5 Camalot for this pitch. It turns out not to be necessary, though I did place it. The alternative was carrying it up the pitch and I wasn’t going to do that! I offwidthed this section, but Steve liebacked around it. Above here is a serious 5.10 section. The climbing is probably only 5.10-, but after placing some gear up a thin crack, the crack disappears. The crux is just above and lasts for maybe ten feet, but I had to go thirty feet before I could place gear again. A fall from here would have had me hitting the ledge below and was just not an option. The climbing on the last twenty feet isn’t too difficult, but it is stressful as I didn’t know when I would get gear and things were just getting more serious.

At the end of this pitch is a big ledge. The crux 5.11b pitch looms above and it looked very hard. There are a number of drilled pins on this pitch, but they are well spaced out and free climbing is mandatory between them. The topo says to use hooks between the bolts if aid climbing, but I didn’t see many opportunities for hooks. The climbing is similar to the fourth pitch – rounded, sandy holds – but much steeper. I did one aid move to get started and then free climbed up to the final headwall. I did another aid move to clear one foot overlap and free climbed past one bolt to another. Here the climbing was just too steep, too sandy, and too holdless. I think this crux pitch is more like 5.11+. I did two more aid moves to reach the hanging belay. I didn’t stop here, though, but continued up the 5.9+ pitch above. This next pitch is quite hard, especially at the start, and a bit junky, steep, and marginally protected at the end. I was super pumped at the top of this link-up and almost came off. I’d say this pitch is 5.10.

I combined these two pitches because of the big ledge that was promised and I wasn’t disappointed. Steve took a long time following this pitch and doing quite a bit of aid climbing. We were both getting pretty tired. The topo for the next pitch, the eighth, showed a “hard way” and an “easy way” to start the pitch. I now knew what this meant. The “easy way” was unprotected, very steep, and on questionable rock. I was too tired to take that risk. I went the “hard way” via one aid move on a bolt. Above this I clipped the second bolt and traversed right to merge with the “easy” way. A 5.8 corner led to a difficult and runout 5.9 crack/seam. At the top of this crack there is a bolt on the left and then sloping shelf leads twenty feet to the left and a bolted belay.

When Steve joined me here, we discussed where the next pitch went. Directly above the belay was a crack/seam. Continuing above the crack from the previous pitch was another crack, but it was choked by bushes in two locations. At the top was a wide crack, but it didn’t appear to top out. Further right was another crack in a corner that we couldn’t see that well. The topo is no help here as it is hopelessly wrong. It shows the pitch proceeding directly above the belay, but it doesn’t show the belay off to the side. The topo also shows an offwidth at the top of the pitch.

I asked Steve if he wanted to lead the last pitch, feeling a bit fatigued. He said, “If I’m leading the last pitch, then we’re going down from here.” I debated whether I wanted to continue. I was mostly worried about going up the wrong way and getting into a jam. I wanted to finish the route, though. The team below us ended up bailing from the top of the seventh pitch. They had had enough. Eventually I decided to continue and chose the far right crack. This turns out to be correct. The climbing isn’t too bad. There are a couple of short, thin 5.10 sections, but the upper section is very casual. There is no offwidth climbing – it is a hand crack in a flare. Soon I was on top and Steve was following.

We had done it. Not entirely free, but we had made the top. I did about six aid moves spread over three different pitches. I found the climbing continuously difficult and quite fun, but the route didn’t seem to be a super classic. The guys below us didn’t even think the route was good. It isn’t that bad, but it doesn’t have very clean, aesthetic climbing – just sort of hard climbing. I recommend the route and even do it again, but it isn’t even in my list of Top Ten Desert Climbs. How can it be Charlie’s Fowler’s favorite climb?

The rack for this route can be small. I’d bring 7 quickdraws, 7 long slings, a full set of stoppers, set of RP’s, black and blue Aliens, double set of green, yellow, red Aliens, orange Aliens, two #1 and #2 Camalots, and a single #3 Camalot. There is no need for any more big cams. We carried an extra #3, #3.5, #4, and #5 Camalots – in the pack the entire way except for the one unnecessary #5 Camalot placement.

Photo 9: The awesome beauty of Zion Canyon

We did seven double rope rappels to get down – exactly mimicking the way we had ascended the route. After our first rappel, the ropes wouldn’t pull. My biggest fear was being realized. I had thought about this all the way up and was thankfully for the party behind us. If our ropes got stuck, we’d have them to free the ropes. When they bailed, that advantage was gone. We tugged and tugged with no luck. I was starting to consider leading up the pitch again. It wouldn’t work without any rope. I’d have to prusik up the stuck rope. As I started to slip into a pit of despair, Steve gave the ropes a flip and miraculously the rope pulled.

The one advantage of having the other party descend ahead of us is that they took the time to replace some of the rappel slings. We found new Spectre cord at two or three of the anchors. The rest of the rappels went without incident and we were soon back on the ground.

As soon as we got back down to the RV, we took off for Zion. It was 7:20 p.m. and we needed to meet the Taylor Boys in Zion Canyon. We drove around to the Zion Canyon entrance and after some confusion at the campground check-in, we found the boy’s site and parked the RV. The boys weren’t there, but showed up by 9 p.m. They had been fixing the first pitch of the Touchstone Wall in order to give them a jump the next day. That said, after talking about it the next day they decided they didn’t the stress of racing the daylight to the top. They decided to just climb up a few more pitches and rappel off. We stayed up late bullshitting, but set the alarms for 6 a.m. with plans of catching the first shuttle at 7 a.m.

Monkeyfinger

The next morning rain was falling so we stayed in bed for another hour. After a leisurely breakfast, we headed for the shuttle bus. With the Taylor Boys were off to teach the Touchstone Wall who was boss, Steve, Trashy and I headed to Monkeyfinger. We were pretty sure who was the boss in this match up and it wasn’t us. Monkeyfinger is a super classic free route at the far end of the Zion Canyon road. For some reason this route is ignored by the masses. The rock and quality of climbing seem to be better than Spaceshot, Touchstone, Prodigal Son and equal to Moonlight Buttress, but I have rarely seen climbers on it. Perhaps it is thought of as a free climb only and its 5.12 rating keeps people away. Maybe the offwidth pitches are the reason. The descent is to rappel the route, so the commitment level is minimal. Whatever the reason, I’m glad because we had it to ourselves.

Photo 10: Monkeyfinger follows the obvious crack

The approach is short and easy. The weather was perfect, if a bit warm, as we geared up. The first pitch has two options: a completely unprotected 5.9 friction slab directly to the belay or a circuitous and runout 5.6 pitch that goes up, over, and down to the belay. The climbing on this junky looking pitch is actually quite good. Trashy led this pitch and brought Steve and I up.

Photo 11: The author leading the second pitch (photo by George Bell)

The second pitch ascends a beautiful pillar via an every widening crack. The crux is at the bottom where the crack is basically just a seam. 5.11- face moves protected by an RP had me baffled. I desperately tried to force the climb up the seam and fell a couple of times, ripping my top piece each time. Eventually, I resigned myself into heading out left to a big flat hold, matching on it, and then standing up on it. I did this via hard, scary moves well above my small gear. A fall could have been damaging and adrenalin powered me onto the stance. Trashy would later step up here by reaching to the left and getting a good hold in a crack over there. Later we’d read the description and find that the route is supposed to traverse directly left to this crack from the belay, climb the crack to this stance and then get in the right crack. I climbed directly above the belay, but I’ll try this other way next time. I think the ratings are probably similar as the moves I did seemed like 11a. Both Trashy and Steve fell off this section following and that seems to confirm the rating around that grade.

Photo 12: Steve Mathias fist jamming the top of pitch two

Once I was standing on the shelf, I blindly placed a black and blue Alien in the thin crack. I liebacked and fingerlocked my way up to a small foot edge and placed an orange Alien. The next section is a difficult #1 Camalot sized crack. The rest of the way to the belay the footholds are non-existent. I placed a #2 Camalot and looked up at the wide crack leading to the top of the pillar. I had only one #3 and one #3.5 Camalot on my rack. I’d suggest bringing two #3.5 units or adding a #4 Camalot. I ended up hiking up the #3.5 Camalot for 15 feet or so before launching for the top. There are some offwidths moves at the top of this crack that could probably be done as a lieback if you are brave. I was sweating heavily as I pulled onto the small, flat ledge on the top of the pillar. The crack above the stance is supposedly rated only 10a, but it seems harder – much harder than the 10a first pitch of Sunlight Buttress.

Steve followed next, slipping off just once while trying to stand on the shelf. Trashy came off once also and soon we were all cramped on the tiny ledge. I was hoping one of these jokers would lead the third pitch on aid so that I could try and toprope it. They weren’t motivated for it, so I grabbed the aiders and headed up.

At 5.12b, the Black Corner pitch is the hardest required free climbing if you are going to free the Monkeyfinger. The Monkeyfinger Crack further up is rated 5.12c, but it can be avoided by climbing a 5.10a offwidth. If I ever have any hope of freeing this entire route, I’d be taking the offwidth above. I wanted to know if there was any chance of me climbing the Black Corner free. The good news is that the difficult climbing is only about thirty feet long and it involves very powerful, fingertip liebacking. Placing protection on this pitch will surely be the crux. Of course, placing gear on aid was no problem at all and I zipped up the pitch, inspecting the crack for holds.

Photo 13: Steve Mathias attempting to free climb the Black Corner (photo by George Bell)

The crux free climbing sections were clearly going to be where the crack seamed up and large reaches were required. There was a two-inch sloping shelf about halfway up this pitch which would provide a tiny rest for placing gear. The upper section looked extremely hard and I guessed that to be the crux.

Above this corner, I left the aiders behind and climbed up a tight chimney and then more moderate rock to a small ledge in the shade. Sitting on this ledge, I was quite comfy giving Trashy and Steve a toprope belay while they played on the corner. Neither got up to the halfway shelf, but Trashy had his hands on it. They weren’t that motivated to work on it and soon I was lowering down and cleaning the gear from the pitch.

With a toprope belay and some helpful instructions from Steve and Trashy, I began to work out the pitch. Initially, you can get some feet via stemming and backstepping, but then there is a sustained section which is just pure liebacking on a first-knuckle edge. I fell off and hung here. After a rest, I made it up to the shelf and precariously stood on it. Even placing gear from here would be tricky and tiring. I fell off the top section early, but found a tiny edge out to the right. On my next go, I was able to get into an invisible stem. The foothold on the right wall was so small that it astounded me that I was able to stand there. This was in fact more comfortable than the shelf below because of the stem. I was stable here and would be able to place gear here. The final section was powerful, but I could make the reaches and crank my way to the top of the difficulties. I lowered down and did this top section again. Then I lowered down to the start and tried to climb up to the shelf. Once again, I burned out and couldn’t get on the shelf before hanging on the rope. I’m now sure that the crux will be getting to and standing on this shelf.

That was enough for today and we rapped off. I’m already anxious to go back to this climb and even hoped to get back on it during this trip, but it didn’t happen. The fourth pitch looks to be a very sustained undercling around a big roof. In fact, it looks worse than the Black Corner, but is “only” rated 5.11c.

I wanted to tick off another route that I had looked at before and it was nearby. Tourist Crack is supposedly located right behind the bathrooms at the end of the Zion Canyon road, at the Temple of Sinawava. I say “supposedly” because I’m not so sure we climbed the right crack. We immediately saw an obvious crack and spotted the anchor above it and assumed this to be the Tourist Crack. The only problem was that the Tourist Crack is rated 5.9 and this pitch was at least mid-5.11 by our estimation.

From the ground it looked very hard, but I just assumed there were some hidden footholds. The crack we climbed followed a huge right-facing dihedral that leaned strongly to the right and overhung me like a tsunami poised to wash me away. I made easy progress up into the heart of this wave at 5.9, but then things got extremely difficult. It seemed impossible to layback the crack due to the wall pushing you out and it was too hard for me to jam as it was off-fingers in width. There wasn’t any footholds and it just seemed too much for me. I grabbed a few pieces of gear getting by this section and then free climbed the final section to the top.

Photo 14: The author in an interesting position on Tourist Crack (?) (photo by Steve Mathias)

I lowered off and the Trashman tied in to clean the route. Steve was done for the day. Actually, Steve was done for the trip. After dinner that night he head for Boulder to see his wife. He hadn’t seen her in a month and needed a bit of TLC. The Trashman wasn’t getting any of that up on…whatever the heck this route was called. He used the same aiding technique to pass the long crux section and we packed up.

We looked for the Taylor Boys on the Touchstone Wall, but no one was there. We saw one party near the top, but no one on the lower six pitches. We find out later that they did just half a pitch more and decided to descend. I think they were coming to gripes with why John Middendorf says, “One thousand feet of sandstone feels like two thousand feet of granite”. Motivation wasn’t running real high with these two. We’d have to take them under our wing and nurse them along. But first, it was time for some dinner.

Iron Messiah

We had three different topos for this route, listing it variously at 10, 11, and 13 pitches in length. Trashy had heard that the approach pitch was “third class, my ass” and this was accurate. The approach pitch has a fixed rope on it and is definitely low 5th class.

At the base of the route, we split into two teams. This lasted for zero pitches. I made the initial 5.9 pitch look so hard that no one else wanted to lead it. In truth this pitch is steep and continuous, but less than half a rope length. Five drilled angle bolts protect the crimpy face climbing. The pitch starts with a tricky, reachy boulder problem.

I clipped into the fixed anchors on the big ledge above and put Opie on belay. He climbed it without falls, but arrived at the top dripping with sweat. I could tell he was already thinking of descent. I pumped him up with compliments of his climbing. He did look more solid on the pitch than I had. Toolman also did well and then he belayed the Trashman while Opie led the next pitch.

The second pitch is fun, steep climbing up a chimney with some jamming and neat stemming. There are rests a plenty on this 5.8 pitch and Opie had no trouble with it. I followed and started up the third pitch, which is supposedly the crux pitch. This is incorrect. This pitch is rated 10c, but it is definitely easier than the first pitch and probably 5.10- at best and more like 5.9. The angle is more relaxed, the protection plentiful and the climbing interesting, but it isn’t very hard.

Photo 15: The author leading the 5.9 (10b?) first pitch of Iron Messiah             Photo 16: Opie following the first pitch of Iron Messiah

(photo by George Bell)

Above the thin crack section, we entered the huge, beautiful chimney/corner system that is the distinguishing feature of this route. We’d follow this corner system for five or six pitches. I climbed up to the two-bolt belay on a small stance and clipped in. As soon as I clipped in Opie said that he was going down. He was worried about four of us rappelling the route and being crowded into tiny stances or worse, hanging belays. I encouraged him to continue, saying that he’d love the crux pitch and that it wasn’t that hard. I promised to lower him immediately back down if he still wanted to bail. Opie followed without any trouble and after a brief discussion agreed to continue.

Below us, Toolman led the second pitch and then Trashy led the third pitch. In the meantime, I strung the next two pitches together in a monster lead. I did this solely because the next belay was purely a hanger. I led the next hundred feet of 5.8/9 crack climbing with three pieces of gear. This wasn’t by choice and I was a bit disconcerted by it, but the crack offered little opportunity for the gear I had left on my rack.

Photo 17: Opie following the combined 4th and 5th pitches on Iron Messiah

Oblivious to the weather while leading, I failed to notice the dark clouds forming above and the slight rain that began to fall. I set up a belay at a nice sheltered stance with two bolts. Opie followed the pitch as Trashy finished the third lead. Once Opie joined me at the 5th belay and Toolman joined Trashy at the third belay, we talked things over. The weather didn’t look good and we decided to sit tight for a bit. It wasn’t long before things got worse and the rain got steady, though still pretty light. We bailed.

Rapping down the upper two pitches was difficult as the rope got sucked into the crack, but we made it. I stopped at the intermediate belay to pull the ropes down and then continue on single rope rappels. We didn’t do a single rope rappel from the upper belay because we didn’t think we could reach the next station with a single 60-meter rope. I now think it could reach and I’d try that next time. And there will be a next time. I was very impressed with the quality of the rock and climbing on this route. If you like chimney climbing at all, then you’ll probably love this route.

It took me seven single rope rappels and some downclimbing to get back to the ground. The rain started coming down hard as we packed up. You never wish for bad weather, but when you bail you don’t want the weather getting good right away. It didn’t and wouldn’t for the next day and a half.

Angels Landing

With the rain pelting down the next morning, we once again slept in past the 6 a.m. wake-up call. We ate a leisurely breakfast and watched a climbing video. The skies kept drizzling down moisture and lethargy was taking hold. We had to break the cycle and I suggested we do a time trial up the Angel’s Landing Trail. The T-men (Trash and Tool) were into the event for the sake of fun and a good workout. Opie, while tacitly participating, didn’t seem too happy about things. Certainly there was no requirement to run up this trail, but Opie did want to hike it, having heard a lot about it from the rest of us.

Photo 18: Running up Angel's Landing                                                                   Photo 19: The author and the Toolman with Angels Landing in the background
(photo by George Bell)                                                                                                (photo by George Bell)

The Angel’s Landing trail is the greatest short trail in the world. It has everything packed into its 2.5-miles. First, like any worthy trail, it climbs, steeply – over 1500 vertical feet. Second, and especially important for mountaineers, it ascends a worthy mountain to its summit. Not only does this trail have spectacular scenery the entire way, but also has tremendous exposure on the final section.

The start of this time trial is the road-side of the footbridge over the Virgin River. I gave the others a five minute head start and then pursued. Toolman took off like a shot, running way too fast over the initial flat section of the trail. Opie and Trashman set a more measured pace. I talked with some hikers just coming down and they asked how long it took me to get to the top. I said I hoped to do it in 30 minutes. He responded, “I did in an hour and 15 minutes in my sandals!” It sounded like he wanted to join us.

After the designated five minutes, I took off running hard. I was listening to my MP3 player, as was Opie. The Toolman had forgotten his player and claimed he deserved a time deduction because of this. It had been cold all morning and I was still wearing my pile jacket. This soon proved to be too hot and I stripped off my Camelback, in which I carried not water but my rain shell, and then took off my jacket and tied it around my waist. I did all this while running, of course.

I caught Opie after eight or nine minutes. He wasn’t going all out and took many photos on the way up. He’d characterize his effort as “steady and fairly casual.” In fact, I was clearly the only one taking this very seriously. I had done this run twice before and therefore could measure myself against past fitness. I crossed the footbridge at the mouth of the slot canyon in just under 12 minutes.

Soon I saw the Toolman. He was power hiking a steep section, but when it crested he ran down the short hill. He heard me running behind him and sprinted out to a big gap before turning around and taunting me. His lead was short lived though and I went by soon after. The Trashman was just up ahead, but we were now into the very steep switchbacks of Walter’s Wiggles. Trashy was hiking and I was running, but I was barely gaining on him. Perhaps hiking this section is the faster strategy.

I passed Trashy at the top of the Wiggles and he took a quick photo of me as I went by. I now had to complete the exposed ridge to the summit. This section of the hike is festooned with big chains strung between posts as handrails for the hikers and is frequently the cause of traffic jams. I was lucky here and was able to pass everyone with ease.

The upper section is too steep for me to run and I power hiked from here to the summit. I topped out in just under 29 minutes, but still had to run over and mount the summit boulder. I completed the course in 29:38. The Trashman finished in 38:59 and the Toolman in 43:02. Opie arrived in around 48 minutes, refused to even tag the summit boulder, let alone stand on it, and immediately started his descent barely uttering a word. We wouldn’t see Opie again for a few hours and back at the campsite. He’d say that he was “continuing the experience of climbing Angel’s Landing all by myself.” He wasn’t pleased with us running up that trail. Of course he was under no obligation to run up it, but he wanted someone to hike with him. His wife is sucking the testosterone out of him. Actually, on second thought, that doesn’t sound so bad.

The T-men and I lingered on the summit admiring the great views and then started down at a leisurely pace. Trashy told us that on the ascent on hiker asked “Is this a triathlon?” “No,” he said, “It’s just a time trial!” Other hikers asked us what we were training for. “What have you got?” I thought. We train for nothing and everything. I ran it for fun, a workout, a test, a view, whatever. Why not?

 

Figure 1: Heart rate and elevation during Angel's Landing Time Trial

The chart above only shows the time trial up Angel’s Landing. The mileage shown in this graph is nonsense. The total ascent is around 2.5 miles and about 1600 vertical feet. Below is a table of the three splits I took on the ascent.

Location

Time

Bridge above the first steep climb

11:56

Top of cables and steep climbing

28:55

Atop the summit boulder

29:38

Table 1: Splits on the Angel's Landing Time Trial

Lady Mountain

There used to be a maintained “trail” of sorts up Lady Mountain. This was similar to a Via Ferrata route equipped with ladders, cables and eye-bolts. The route ascends 2500 vertical feet of very steep terrain up to low 5th class in difficulty. Because of the troubles with stranded tourists freaking out, the route was dismantled and stricken from all park literature. Homie and Loobster did this trail last year and said it was a fun adventure.

After the time trial, the T-men and I scoped out the route up Lady Mountain. We found the unmarked trail leaving the Grotto Trail and followed it up to the first cliff band. Here we located the yellow circles painted on the rock marking the route through the cliffs. We planned an ascent the next morning. We were hoping to knock it off by noon and head home the same day.

Unfortunately, this didn’t happen either. Trashy made the mistake of calling home that night and his wife reminded him that he promised to be home for dinner on Sunday night. In order to maintain marital harmony, we headed home early on Sunday – during the best weather of the entire trip. Despite my bad luck with the weather, I love Zion and can’t wait to return. I like just driving into this park and being able to get a campsite. I love the uncrowded roads and trails. I love the beautiful and scary sandstone walls. What I don’t like is unfinished business and I want to go back and finish a few routes. I’ve already got plans to return in October. I’ve recently read that the fall is the best time to visit…

Photo 20: Opie...