Gerry Roach lists 52 *Classic* climbs in his guidebook to the Flatirons.
I've been slowly ticking them off over the last four years, but some of them
are elusive-- not because they are particularly difficult or scary, but because
they are short and far away. I don't mind hiking a long ways to a climb,
but if I'm going to do so, I want to do lots of climbing.
On my list were 19 Classics I had yet to do, and I noticed that many of them
were on Dinosaur Mountain, a subsidiary peak that is Southeast of Green
Mountain and connected thereto. It seemed that many of these climbs could
be accomplished in sequence, giving a grand tour of Dinosaur Mountain primarily
on rock. I presented the idea to Bill Wright, who invited George
"Trashman" Bell, John "Homie" Prater, and Mike
"Mickey" Record to join us. At George's suggestion, we dubbed
this adventure the "Tour de 'Saur."
We started from the NCAR parking lot at the unearthly hour of 10:30 a.m.
A true Alpine start for a mountaineering adventure! The weather was also
distinctly alpine--75 degrees, sunny, clear, and calm. A typical November
day in Boulder. Of course, we had to deal with the snow. Or at
least we think we saw some. On the upper north-facing slopes of Bear
Peak. We're still not sure.
After Bill's official approval ("Gentlemen, start your wrist
instruments!") we hiked to Bear Canyon and followed a rough
"trail" along the bottom of the canyon to the Southern Dinosaur Egg,
home of the climb "Hatch," our first destination. This approach
was gruelling--it took perhaps 30 minutes--but it would be our longest of the
day, and the time was filled with lively talk of Vegans and John Cusak.
Hatch is a 2-pitch, 5.5 climb up a crack and into a chimney, then out onto a
steep south-facing wall. Bill, Trashy and I were in the vanguard
exploring the way, and Homie and Mike brought up the rear as a separate rope
team. George dispatched the first pitch with ease, and Bill led the
second (much harder) pitch with confidence despite his tennis-shoe-style approach
shoes. We dutifully heckled the lead climber, heckled the belayer, and
celebrated the summit by heckling those coming up behind. George
defiantly strode to the summit of the Egg without a rope, heedless of Roach's
admonition that "this is not a good rock to be on top of without a
rope."
A quick rappel and downclimb, and a very short scramble down to the north and
east brought us to the base of Rehatch, another 2-pitch 5.5 that is awfully
similar to Hatch. These are both interesting climbs on good rock, and the
summits are quite nice. I led the easy first pitch and Bill finished the
climb up the steep south face to the summit. As we readied the rappel off
this rock, Bill commented, "the contrast between today and the last time I
climbed in the Flatirons is really amazing." "Why's that?"
asked Trashy, "because it was cold and snowy then?"
"No," replied Bill. "Because we were moving like
lightning." He was right--we weren't moving too fast on this trip,
but we were having a good time.
There is a series of rocks fairly high on Dinosaur Mountain named, from south
to north, "Fee," "Fi," "Fo," and "Fum,"
followed by "Dum." There is no Classic route on Fee, so we
skipped it and headed for Fi and its Classic route called "Fi
Fun." This is rated F4 (5.0-5.2) by Roach and is a true 5-star
classic that follows the east face of Fi to its south ridge, then follows the
south ridge to the summit. We dispatched it as a simul-climb.
George led off and commented on the classic, clean rock on the east face.
As he reached the top of the face and began traversing the ridge, he was
hooting and hollering. Bill and I hurried to see what all the fuss was
about. This ridge is spectacular! It is razor sharp and drops off
steeply 200-300 feet on the west side of the rock. We later declared it
the Best Pitch of the Day and (next to the stellar company) the highlight of
the Tour.
Getting off Fi to the base of the east face of Fo proved to be
interesting. The guidebook recommends making a short rappel into the
gully between Fi and Fo, but points out that there is no hiking route down to
the east from there. We would have to hike up to the north around Fo,
Fum, and Dum to get where we wanted to go. Maybe, we thought, it would be
faster to just make a long, two-rope rappel down the east face, putting us
exactly where we wanted to be.
This we did, and then we realized why it was not recommended by Roach.
The ropes would not pull down. After a few minutes of flipping, pulling,
and cursing, we got the rope to budge. It was not stuck after all.
It was just held up by a tremendous amount of friction. It was going to
take a huge effort to pull it down, but it would come. Mike, Homie and I
developed all manner of new methods of pulling, finally perfecting the method by
tying loops in the rope and hooking it to our harnesses, then straining and
pulling downhill, all three of us at once. Ten minutes later we had it
down.
Meanwhile, not to be wasting valuable time waiting for the grunt work to be
finished, Bill and George started up "Quadratic Equation," an F6
(5.5-5.6) Classic on Fo. This route starts up a delicate and difficult
unprotected slab, then ascends easier terrain to the ridgeline and an
interesting finish. To get to the summit of this rock you have to climb
down into a chimney, cross the chimney, and get out onto a steep (by Flatiron
standards) east face with a crack system. Bill led this pitch and topped
out, then after an extended debate with Trashy as to whether a particular tree
was "on the summit" or just "near the summit," made an
anchor and brought George and I up. Mike and John followed efficiently
and we celebrated our success. Four obscure Roach Classics in one
day!
But the day was not over. Since we were already up this far, we pretty
much had to climb Fum as well. This we accomplished by its previously
unclimbed, imposing south face. Bill spotted a route and launched up it,
completed a desperate move with bad footholds (still in his sticky tennis
shoes, remember), and promptly dubbed the route Smelly Smell, 5.7+. I
followed but took a slightly different route at the crux, executed a fine
butt-lock in an offwidth crack, and completed the first ascent of what I dubbed
the Funky Smell variation, 5.6. George followed the standard route and we
raced to catch up to Homie and Mike, who had been severely intimidated by the
Smell and instead proceeded to the start of the South Ridge of Dum.
We raced up this ridge as the sun began to go behind the mountain. Our
objective now was to summit Dum, summit Dinosaur Mountain, and get back to good
trails before dark. The South Ridge of Dum is quite easy except for one
little obstacle--a large gap between a false summit and the remainder of the
ridge. I overcame this obstacle with a flying leap (rating J5) and gouged
my hand on the abrasive rock at the landing place. The other climbers,
being true climbers, got past it by...climbing.
We regrouped on the flat summit block and scrambled off to the summit of
Dinosaur Mountain. This summit is easy to reach from Dum, and before we
knew it we were on the pinpoint summit, enjoying the spectacular view and fine
exposure.
By this time it was about 4:45, and it was going to be dark soon. Nobody
seemed to have an authoritative opinion as to how exactly we would get down, so
we pointed ourselves north and pretended we were water. Before long we
realized we were going to end up in Skunk Canyon--fine by me, but a nasty hike
according to Homie, who had visited the canyon recently. Fortunately for
us, we joined Skunk Canyon below the really nasty section, and soon we reached
familiar landmarks: Satan's Slab, then Stairway to Heaven, and finally
the Mesa Trail.
As we headed south back to NCAR, I thought how many times I had hiked or run on
the Mesa Trail. "Every Flatiron adventure spends at least a little
time on this trail," I opined. "And if it doesn't, then the
adventure should be redesigned so that it does."
We arrived at NCAR in darkness at about 5:40 p.m., having completed the
first-ever recorded traverse of Dinosaur Mountain. Or at least, having
completed the first recorded traverse of Dinosaur Mountain via Hatch, Rehatch,
Fi Fun, Quadratic Equation, the Smelly Smell, and the South Ridge of Dum.
Or at least, the first traverse by that route that has taken place on the first
Saturday in November. And if someone else has done it, please don't tell
us. We're basking in our personal glory.
Stats:
Routes: 6, four of which are *Classics*
Rock formations: 7, including one major summit
Miles: 5-6?
Vertical feet: 2500?
First Ascent of the South Face of Fum, via Smelly Smell, 5.7+
First Ascent of the Funky Smell variation (5.6) of the Smelly Smell
Mark Oveson
LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae, LLP
moveson@llgm.com