With all the confusing aid ratings of A0-A5, C0-C5, new wave A1-A5, etc. someone once told me that the real pitches to worry about are not the ones with the hardest rating, but the ones that have a name. Like the "Hook or Book" pitch. I think the same thing can be said about 4WD trails.

I met Hardly Manson at the trailhead between our houses at 3:30 a.m. and we were headed down to the South Platte to attempt Childhood's End (12 pitches, 5.12a). My friend Eric Winkelman did the first ascent and he highly recommended the route. The clincher for me was that we could aid the crux, as 5.12a is at least four letter grades over my free climbing limit. We did the long drive down in the dark and turned onto the dirt roads that criss-cross the South Platte area. We were doing the alternate approach from the Turkey Rocks area so that we didn't have to ford the river. Hardly had found the start of the key forest road while climbing down here the previous weekend. We knew this road became extremely rough. We were in my Toyota 4Runner, but I was no 4-wheeler. I had the 4WD just for climbing approaches and skiing. I didn't want to get in over my head.

Five miles past the Turkey Rocks parking, we turned onto another forest road that led towards Big Rock Candy. We drove this road 3-4 miles, stopping occasionally to check out the terrain ahead. Each time we felt it was safe to continue driving. We were now heading steeply downhill and were just south of Big Rock Candy Mountain. We were in fact, below the top of the cliff at this point. We should have stopped here, but we continued further to a hill that we'd later find out was called "Chicken Scratch Hill". This hill was probably 100-150 yards long and very steep. Probably 25 degrees or more - I have little experience is guessing the angle of a hill. It is covered in pea gravel and has huge, two foot deep ruts all over it. We descended this hill. This was the biggest mistake of the day, but we wouldn't find that out for many hours.

Shortly beyond Chicken Scratch Hill, we decided the road was heading away from the mountain and parked. The weather looked questionable. The drive in was damp and all the foliage was dripping water. It had rained hard the night before and the overcast skies were not allowing things to dry out. The sky was gray, but not too dark. We had come this far and decided that we should at least descend and reconnoiter the approach. Maybe we'd even do a pitch or two.

We descended into the gully next to the road, climbed up the other side and down into the gully right next to Big Rock Candy Mountain. Some slippery down scrambling and bushwhacking got us to the vicinity of the climb. The two guidebooks that describe this route (Stewart Green's on Colorado and Peter Hubbel's on the South Platte) do not do a very good job of describing the first couple of pitches. By process of elimination and knowing where the upper part of the route went, we figured out where to start.

At 8:15 a.m., I led up a right facing corner system. The rock was slick. I placed a couple of pieces in the crack before it disappeared into a blank slab. This section looked easy from below, but was probably 5.8 face climbing and a bit scary. I was run-out about twenty feet from my last piece and placed a two cam black Alien and a medium RP up under an overlap. I then did the crux moves out onto the face and over to an easy ramp system. I followed this until it hit a wide crack system. I followed the wide crack to a two bolt belay. Contrary to the guidebook description all the bolts on this route are quarter inch bolts. This pitch was 175 feet long (some simul-climbing was required) and combined the first two pitches of Green's topo.

The weather was holding so we decided to continue. Each belay was bolted and most with rappel rings so at each pitch we knew we could retreat, though we didn't relish the thought. Hardly continued up the wide crack which becomes a 5.9- squeeze chimney. This is actually quite easy and not that unprotected. Hardly placed the #4 Camalot at the base of this crack and about fifteen feet up he could place a #2 Camalot. The rock is well featured here and not that steep and the climbing goes surprisingly easy. Above this crack, the face climbing starts. Hardly traversed up and right, clipping five bolts en route to the belay on 5.10- face climbing. This 120' pitch served as a nice introduction to what was to come.

I led the fourth pitch, which can be done two different ways: 5.11 face climbing or 5.9 face/crack climbing. I chose the latter. The crack climbing went easily and the short face sections weren't too bad. Above this section I needed to traverse to the left and join the other variation. When the routes merge, the climbing is more 5.10- face climbing. I found this section hard and scary. I moved slowly between the three bolts that led up to the belay. The climbing isn't that steep here, but it involves grabbing tiny handholds and edging on tiny irregularities on the slab. This works surprisingly well, but at this point I wasn't convinced. Face climbing is scary in that the distance between the protection is pre-determined and if you don't like it...tough shit! Near the end of this pitch I stretched too far to reach the first good handholds in thirty feet. I didn't come off making this move, but I might have. I had just had enough of that dicey crap and wanted some good holds badly. These good holds were about half an inch wide, but on this route that constituted a jug! I pulled and mantled up to the belay anchors, glad to be done with that section. This pitch is only about 85' long. Hardly followed this pitch with annoying nonchalance.

We had a mini-haulbag along with us, which carried our rain shells, two liters of Gatorade, approach shoes, and food. We wouldn't use anything out of this bag for the entire climb. Hardly wore the bag for the first two pitches and I wore it for the last two pitches. Other than that we hauled the bag up. Most of the climb isn't that steep, but the bag easily slid up the polished face.

We had the valley to ourselves. I doubt there was another climber within a five mile radius. This is the most beautiful area of the South Platte at which I have climbed. The tremendous views afforded us by climbing on such a massive wall were a delight. Across the river we could see Sunshine Dome and even the road and trail which mark the alternate approach. It was a very peaceful place.

The next pitch traversed left around a blunt arete and then up a lower angled face. This pitch only had three bolts on it and was about 120' long. Most of the difficult climbing was relatively near a bolt, but there were some massive run-outs. Hardly moved quickly up this pitch and I was glad to find it considerably easier than the previous pitch. I then led a 90' 5.9 pitch with four bolts up to a good two foot ledge - the only real ledge on the route. Unfortunately, the bathtub like ledge was filled with water. This pitch felt better than my last lead. It was a bit easier, but I was getting more confident with my foot work.

Hardly led another 5.9 pitch (about 120') past five bolts to the base of the crux headwall. The climbing on the headwall looked similar to the previous pitches with one distinct difference. Instead of an angle of about 65 degrees, the slab was now 85 degrees. I led up the short, tricky 5.9 crack to the headwall and clipped the first bolt. I didn't figure to get too far, but I underclung an edge and did some delicate edging to clip the second bolt. Now things got very hard and it was about seven feet to the next bolt. Damn! That isn't a bolt ladder! I hung on the bolt and felt out the holds - they sucked of course - this is 5.12! For a second I thought I was in trouble but found a 2 cam black Alien placement (this piece is surprisingly useful!). Pulling on this piece I was able to climb high enough to clip the next bolt. The climbing has been mainly traversing to this point and for a couple more bolts. These were close enough for me to reach by pulling on the draws. Once the climb turned straight up, I stood in a sling at each bolt to clip the next one. I didn't consider free climbing it for long. It was clearly way over my head. A number of the reaches were quite long and it required standing in a tripled up sling so that I could get high enough - equivalent to stepping in a hero-loop of an aider. Finally, I had to make free moves (10b) to reach the belay. This went very quickly. At the belay I found three biners, a stopper (?), and a long sling. Above me, on the run-out 5.10+ pitch I saw a quickdraw - clearly the last team up here was freaked by the run-out 5.10 climbing or simply couldn't do it. They had bailed and left lots of booty behind! I'm collecting a lot these days.

It was now Hardly's turn to follow. I was a little concerned because I had neglected to leave behind any long slings so he wouldn't be able to step in the slings for aiding. I needn't have worried. Hardly freed the pitch!!! I couldn't believe it. I knew Hardly was a very strong climber - much better than myself - but I thought this was beyond him. He had just led a 5.11a pitch cleanly on a Boulder Canyon climb the previous Friday and I thought that was near or at his limit. This was 5.12! I was amazed and excited for him. In all honest, he did slip off once well above the crux. He was disappointed with himself about this and immediately got back on the rock and finished it cleanly.

The next pitch is the crux of the route as far as completing the climb. The previous 5.12 pitch can be aided by a gumby like myself. The next pitch required mandatory 5.10+ climbing well above the bolts. Yikes! I was very glad it was Hardly's lead. He was obviously climbing great and bolstered by the confidence of the last pitch. He led up deliberately and confidently past the first six bolts. These bolts are only about 8 to 10 feet apart. A little scary for such delicate climbing, but nothing compared to what was coming. Eric Winkelman put up this pitch on lead! That is an amazing achievement and one he still vividly remembers. We are in awe of that performance and the mental strength it required. After the sixth bolt is the crux and the next bolt is almost twenty feet away. Hardly looked solid on this section, but following this I never felt solid. While I didn't come off I was on the ragged edge the whole way. Above here the run-outs continue to be large, but the climbing eases a bit. Just before the belay is another long run-out with 5.10- moves way above gear. Simply put, this was a brilliant lead by Hardly. I couldn't have done it. I'm hard pressed to pick which performance I admired most: the physical skill on the 5.12 pitch or the mental control and complete competency on the run-out 5.10d. This type of climbing is the worst type for run-outs since it is very insecure. If you lose your balance you will most likely come off.

Following this pitch, Hardly says to me, "Uh, it's raining, Bill" Damn! We had three slab pitches to do. They were 5.7 or easier but each pitch was long and completely unprotected. I tried to hurry on the upper part of this pitch, but couldn't speed up much without coming off. The climbing is very technical and it is time consuming searching out the handholds and footholds since the best spots are only marginally better than a random placement. Hardly's chalk helped me located the best holds more readily. I was prepared to Batman up the rope if necessary, but it was currently only a slight drizzle. Finally I arrived at the belay with extremely tired feet.

I quickly grabbed the rack and moved on up the next pitch. The next three pitches would go extremely quickly. The climbing is much easier, but the 100+ foot run-outs persuaded us to be careful. The rain let up and looked like it would hold off a while longer. Nevertheless, we didn't squander this time and kept up the fast pace. Hardly zipped up the next lead and soon I was completing the last pitch. At the very top, the rock was covered in lichen and 130 feet out from the belay with no gear in, I slipped! Yikes! I didn't fall, but it freaked me out a bit. I'm on a slab so flat that you can almost walk up it without your hands and I'm scared. I inched over to a crack and was immediately comfortable again. Two minutes later I was at the belay.

Hardly followed easily and we topped out. It was 1:45 p.m. and the route had taken us 5.5 hours to climb. We coiled the ropes and packed the haulbag with the gear, but kept our shoes on. We headed north along the top of the rock to where Eric told me the rappel anchors are located. They were easy to find and two single rope rappels later, we were on the ground and changing shoes. The descent/traverse over to the 4Runner was incredibly fast and we covered this ground in less than 15 minutes. Just as we got there it started to rain again. I was still a bit worried about getting back up the hill and wanted to complete it before any strong rains came.

We turned around and headed back up the 4WD road. We negotiated some tough sections, but kept rolling up to Chicken Scratch Hill. I had been in Four Wheel High, but switched now into what I thought was Four Wheel Low. My first attempt at this hill didn't get me more than a quarter of the way up. Hardly got out to inspect my progress on the second attempt and quickly informed me that I wasn't in four wheel drive at all! As I said, I'm a neophyte when it comes to four wheel driving. I made the correction and tried again. This time I went much further, but halfway up I didn't think I could make it and tried to turn across the slope to an easier way up. Bad idea! Don't get sideways on such a hill. My wheels spun out. I lost momentum and stopped. With wheels off the ground, just straightening the truck out was scary. The giant holes made it difficult to steer and I almost flipped the truck. Once I got it down to the bottom again, I asked Hardly if he'd like to try. "Sure," he says.

Hardly first attempt didn't get much higher than mine. I was getting very stressed at this point. We were nine miles from a paved road and stuck. We had not seen a person or vehicle all day. I don't know if they even make winch cables long enough to pull me up such a hill. I guess maybe if we got the truck halfway up there might be a cable long enough. But it was going to take forever to get out to civilization. I regretted the decision to drive down this damn hill for the 100th time and prayed that Hardly could get it out.

Hardly realized on his first attempt that 1st gear in Four Wheel Low is so low that your top speed is around 5 mph. This wasn't sufficient to build up the necessary momentum to get up the hill. His plan was simple: 2nd gear. He gunned the engine and quickly built speed, made the shift into 2nd gear and roared up the hill. Into and out of the holes he bounced. Ever further up the hill. Past our previous high point and still going strong. As he approached the crest the wheels starting slipping highly. Damn, I thought. So close. What to do? Later Hardly would say that he contemplated shifting to 1st gear, but thought the shift would take too long and he'd lose what little momentum he had left. He gunned it and spun the wheels wildly, but continued moving forward over the top! I ran up the hill after him. He stopped, got out of the truck and we slapped high fives and even hugged! I was elated. More so than getting up the route! This was definitely the most stressful part of the day for me. Mainly because of my complete ignorance of four wheel driving. This experience will reinforce my generally gun-shy nature of anything that looks hairy. I just don't know what I'm doing.

The rest of the drive out was relatively easy and a short ways above this hill we met a group of four trucks coming specifically to do Chicken Scratch Hill. These guys informed us that the hill had a name. If I had known that before, I wouldn't have gone down it.

On the other hand, the climbing was great. A bit off character to other Platte climbs I've done in that it was all relatively low angle face climbing. I enjoyed it a lot and especially the solitude but I was glad I had a rope gun like Hardly!